by Cyrus Webb
It's been a privilege of mine to not just work with Ally Dalsimer in 2025 but to watch her rise and thrive in so many endeavors. We connected around her book IT'S OKAY NOT TO BE FABULOUS EVERY DAY. Since then we have hosted two seasons of a show and podcast together on Amazon LIVE, and she has co-hosted the first season of her own podcast SO...WHAT'S YOUR PROCESS with her son/actor Kyle Dalsimer.
We talk about the year and more in the inspiring conversation.
Ally, you have been busy in 2025 not just with sharing your book IT’S OKAY NOT TO BE FABULOUS EVERY DAY. You’ve been exploring other arenas like writing in a different genre and even speaking. What has it been like for you to see how your work is touching others?
It’s been like finding the prize in a box of Cracker Jacks – a delightful surprise and so rewarding!
I originally wrote my book as life advice for my kids in hopes they would use it to better navigate life’s challenges. They and others encouraged me to publish it and, since then, so many readers have reached out to say that the book – or more often, specific sections – made them feel seen, supported, and inspired.
Knowing my words benefit others in meaningful ways is incredibly gratifying and humbling, and has brought me great joy. Expanding into speaking enables me to share the book’s messages with a much larger pool of people so they too can better navigate those life challenges we all must face.
As for other arenas of writing, yes! I’m currently working on manuscripts in two different genres. One is an upper middle grade adventure/friendship novel that explores themes such as bravery, prejudice, and personal growth; the other is a new adult novel that’s more of a mildly spicy romance thriller.
You had mentioned before that your book was initially for your children. Could you have imagined that people around the world would also resonate with the messages?
Honestly, no – I never imagined it would resonate so widely. As you know, the book has garnered several awards, hit #1 in three Amazon self-help categories, and was an international best seller.
Having said that, if I sit back and think about it, maybe it’s not so surprising since the topics I deal with, the stories I share… they’re universal. Sadly, all of us deal with loss, grief, fear, insecurity, self-doubts, etc. at some point in our lives. So while the stories I share in FABULOUS may be personal to me, the emotions and struggles underlying those events are broadly applicable.
It’s been great watching you since we first met exploring new opportunities. What has given you the courage to say yes, even to things that might be new?
Well, thanks for that! It’s actually been great sharing my journey with you as well as with others – a real-life implementation of the steppingstones I lay out in my book!
As for what has given me the courage, I’d have to say: surviving emboldens.
My grandmother used to say, “That which doesn’t break you, makes you stronger.” Those words have stayed with me. Like so many others, I have had to face some pretty significant challenges in my life. Surviving those tough experiences has made me braver.
Surviving is emboldening. Conquering is reinforcing. If I could overcome that, why not this?
One of the messages in your book is the importance of moving forward, even in the face of uncertainty. What has helped you to keep swimming against the difficult waters you’ve experienced?
Swimming, or just staying afloat, is so much better than sinking. I’ve been to that dark place: depression, self-doubt, even self-loathing. Climbing out of that pit takes way more effort and energy than gracing myself a respite.
What I’ve come to realize is that, for too long, I let others diminish my sense of self-worth – allowed them to demean my accomplishments and belittle my aspirations. But the truth is that people who try to diminish others usually do so because they’re broken.
Embracing our perfect imperfections is what keeps us moving forward. And to keep going, no matter how small the steps – to survive and, in the end, thrive – that’s real strength.
Floating on days we just don’t have the physical or mental capacity to swim is not weakness… it’s wisdom. It’s balance. It’s yin and yang. In the end, the pause is just as important as the notes to the overall quality of the music we play, especially when the piece we are playing is life.
You were one of the speakers of Conversations’ Stronger Together event on Amazon LIVE. Tell us about that experience for you.
That experience was quite emotional for me. I spoke on “Cherishing the Mother-Daughter Bond,” and my goal was to demonstrate how the chain of generational trauma can be broken. I did this by using my own personal family history, which was tough as I’ve never shared the stories of mine or my mother’s childhoods publicly before.
In the end, delivering my talk turned out to be a more emotional experience than I anticipated, though I hope I was able to communicate how that bond can grow and strengthen over the generations.
If I give a version of that talk again, I’ll be better prepared emotionally so hopefully won’t tear up as much… though, if I do, I do, and I won’t apologize for it. Those stories are deeply personal and real, and I truly hope people can find parallels in their own mother-daughter bonds so they too can move beyond the recurring cycle of pain, anger, and emotional distancing.
The part of your book title that I always focus on is IT’S OKAY. How has that fact helped you in giving yourself grace in life?
Yes, you picked up on the power of that bit even before I did, though it forms the basis for the entire book. And it’s funny you should raise it…
A while back, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and stressed. My son came over to me, put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eye, and said: “You know, Mama, it’s okay not to be fabulous every day.” It was perfect timing and immediately made me feel better. Now it’s become a sort of running mantra in our home.
Because it really is okay… It’s okay not to know everything. It’s okay to need help. It’s okay to fall short. It’s okay not to be fabulous every day because, honestly, who can be?
And I think it’s important that we continually remind ourselves of that. I literally wrote the book on ‘it’s okay’ and I still have moments when I need reminding, though many fewer now.
You are also big on defining for yourself what your FABULOUS is. What would you say to our audience about the importance of doing that for themselves?
I think what makes us fabulous is whatever makes us us – our own set of inherently unique traits, whether that’s creativity, kindness, resilience, vision or something else. So, I would say: lean into your uniqueness, your passions, your joys. Take the steps needed to bring you closer to those qualities.
I genuinely believe everyone already has everything they need inside them to succeed in the life they were meant to live, but only you can flip that switch, change your mindset, embrace your inner fabulosity. So actively choose to nurture you, believe in you.
And also, surround yourself with people who uplift you, who support you and believe in your dreams. Walk away from those who diminish you, who minimize your accomplishments or belittle your ambitions.
Every day, remember to embrace your inner fabulosity and take a step then one more towards maximizing your personal potential. Believe in yourself because you are worthy, your dreams are worthwhile, and you really can achieve them.
What are you looking forward to?
I am looking forward to continuing my journey, wherever it might lead! Each of us has a unique destiny, a personal path, and I’m excited to see where mine leads.
More specifically, I’d like to expand my speaking engagements to spread the message that embracing one’s inner fabulosity is the key to true happiness. I’m also looking forward to completing at least one of the two manuscripts I’m currently developing, as well as hopefully find a publisher for it.
In my personal life, I’m very much looking forward to spending time with my kids.
Thanks again for your time and all you do, Ally. How can our readers stay connected with you and join your newsletter?
You can find me on Instagram @ally.dalsimer and on YouTube at @AllyDalsimer1, where I post fun, quick book review shorts.
Definitely sign up for my newsletter at AllyDalsimer.com/newsletter. It comes out twice a month and is packed with life tips, fabulosity boosts, author updates, and sneak peeks.
Also subscribe to the show SO... WHAT'S YOUR PROCESS on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SoWhatsYourProcess
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